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Sex parties & Chillouts

Chillouts or sex parties often take place at people’s homes and can go on for a number of days.

People may invite other friends or get guys over from apps like Grindr, while others may leave at different times.

Taking drugs together can make people feel connected and horny.

Be clear about your limits

The high turnover of guys at chillouts can mean that you come into contact with people who might be doing drugs (like crystalG or other hard drugs), or be into types of sex (such as barebacking or fisting), which you might not be comfortable with.

When high, some of these boundaries can slip so it’s a good idea to think about what your limits are before you get into that situation.

Scope it out

If you’re thinking of joining a party (or getting a new guy over) ask a few questions to make sure you know what you/they are getting into:

  • How many guys are there?
  • How long have you been going?
  • What chems are you doing?
  • Are you guys using condoms?
  • Are you undetectable/on pre-exposure prophylaxis (PrEP)?
  • Is anyone slamming?

If you can hang out with people who are doing the same things that you want to do, it will make people feel more comfortable as well as reduce anxiety and the chances of things happening you might later regret.


Once you’re at a party and high it may be very hard to stop.

Be realistic about when you need to leave, allowing for a night’s sleep and plenty of time to recover before work. Making plans you can’t get out of can be useful – or if going with a friend make plans about when to leave together.

Be prepared

Remember to look out for each other at the party and try to keep each other safe.

  • Stay hydrated.
  • Try to eat small amounts of food (things which are easy to eat like yoghurts, smoothies or a banana) to keep your energy up.
  • Bring plenty of condoms and lube – don’t assume there will already be some at the party. It’s best to avoid shared pots of lube as you can be sharing STIs as well.
  • If you’re slamming, bring your own syringes or needles and don’t be tempted to use other people’s equipment.
  • Don’t take lots of valuables with you and try to keep essentials like your phone on you or nearby at all times.
  • Don’t take lots of money – this can make it too easy to buy more drugs and stay longer than you want to.
  • Keep all your clothes and belongings in one place, ideally a bag – it’s no fun hunting for lost underwear for an hour when you just want to get home.
  • Bring a phone charger so you can keep in touch with people, especially in emergencies.
  • Leave some emergency money (enough for a taxi) at home in case your wallet goes missing and you end up stranded in a strange part of town.

Before you go, read our tips on emergencies, and know how to access post-exposure prophylaxis (PEP) after having unprotected sex.

We also have some general tips on recovering from a comedown.

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Published: 29/08/2018
Next review: 29/08/2021