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Apps and online

Whether you’re into chems or not, many people with a smartphone or computer have used a dating site or hook-up app at some point. These include Grindr, Gaydar, Scruff, BBRT, Manhunt and Hornet.

Depending on when and where you use these apps or websites, it may seem that a lot of people you chat to online are on, or into, drugs. Guys who are high or at a chillout may spend lots of time online messaging and looking for men to join them and keep the party going.

A common and slightly awkward scenario is that someone you’ve been chatting to online asks you to join them, and when you turn up they may have forgotten, lost their high, or not asked everyone whether it was OK if you came over.

If someone is at a group session/sex party/chillout and they’ve been taking drugs and having sex for a long time with multiple partners, they’re more likely to have picked up sexually transmitted infections (STIs).

Know the lingo

As you’re often not allowed to mention sex or drugs directly on a profile, people have come up with ways around this. These include using code words or by spelling words differently or with ‘clue’ capitalisations. Here are some examples:

  • PnP = party and play – sex with drug use
  • parTy = the capitalised T means tina (crystal meth)
  • HnH = high and horny
  • Wired = high
  • Fun = sex
  • Chems = drugs
  • Chillout or Group = usually a sex/drugs party
  • G&T = GBL/GHB and crystal meth
  • G M T V = GBL, mephedrone, tina (crystal meth), Viagra
  • FF = fisting
  • BB/raw = bareback/condomless sex
  • Open-minded = this can often mean bareback
  • Special interests/no limits = could indicate more hardcore, extreme fetishes or sex which is taboo or illegal
  • Pharmacist = drug dealer
  • Pins = needles for injecting
  • Slam/slamming = injecting drugs
  • iSlam = slamming

Reality check

If the person you’re talking to on Grindr is high, they may not be thinking rationally or acting in a normal way.

People are more likely to chat about their sexual fantasies if their inhibitions are lowered from taking chems. Some guys may find they have types of sex which they don’t feel comfortable with afterwards.

Be clear about your limits

  • If someone is using drugs, find out what they’re taking and be clear about what you will and will not take. This avoids peer pressure later on.
  • Don’t be afraid to ask about someone’s HIV status or whether they’re into using condoms, are on pre-exposure prophylaxis (PrEP) or have BB sex.

Addicted to Grindr? We have some tips for cutting down on your app use ››

Next: Sex parties and chillouts ››

Published: 29/08/2018
Next review: 29/08/2021